It has been many years since I have posted and thought I had a good relationship with my H. Until yesterday when he told me he never wanted to be married (which he has said before) that he did not want children and he has wasted his life. Then he left for the night and must have come back very late to grab some of his things for work.
I would like to break the cycle as it seems H = D & Me = P. It has been years since I have had to P to save him from walking but I do not want to have to go thru this again. Right now: I am looking for a new job/out of work, have a 1 year old that rises at 4:30-5:00am, a house under construction, and had a terrible 2 years of miscarriages, family illness and lost a baby.
I might be too tired to P someone who: -says he should have never married (to me) -says he should have never had children (with me) -does not want to have more children -thinks I am not naturally nice to him -says I talk meanly to him -has depressions -is overly sensitive and is described by others as a difficult person -b/c I am not nice, and does not want me to get pregnant, and is worried about his performance has withheld sex from me...we have had sex 3 times since August. I have had to beg for it.
But if I do not P, will the relationship fall apart?
I am conflicted as I feel like I should save this and in the past have had to P my butt off to get him to stay.
Generally: I feel confused. But we are so lucky to have our DD after years of loss and her premature birth that I am over the moon with her and am focusing on being happy with her.
Please: I need some help here on how to proceed.
Details:
I call my H a runner...but I think he is a distancer and I know I am the pursuer. Here is my recollection: 1) H distanced in 2003 when we were dating and we did not see each other for a year, got back together in 2005 after a very long pause of contact and then a major pursuit by me 2) H distanced in 2005 when were were engaged. Wanted to stop the wedding. I pursued, not hard, but enough and we married. The day of the wedding I was running a tiny bit late to the church and he thought I was not going to show and was very worried I was not going to show. 3) H distanced in 2006 and 2008 (isn) and we saw a DB coach many times and it got back on track: we then had 6 years of pregnancy ups-downs which actually brought us closer than ever 4) H distanced 2014, Dec 30: He is not happy, never wanted to be married or have children and then left our home.
