Wow, BA, that's some heavy processing for the holidays. I admire you for having the courage to admit this to yourself. Then you add what women you chose to finish your R with your mom and... well... congrats for figuring this out. If it's any consolation, I think many of us here (and our former spouses) have had this same dynamic. Our baggage and how we manage it is some heavy lifting. Looking back, I wonder why we didn't see some of it?
Go one step further, and my guess is that your mom chose your dad so she could permit the very dynamic you suggested. Maybe even have a scape goat?
For me personally, I absorbed my parents' abandonment issues and they played out in some really ugly ways.
The good news is that you've done the work, my friend. And 56? I say better to do it now and have the rest of your life to let it go and enjoy your own life, right?
I, too, gave up the social NYE years ago. Hell, I had 2 close encounters on the way to work today without the drunk driving playing a factor. Four miles from door to door and I literally was almost obliterated twice. Can't wait to get home. Although this is a long shot, yesterday there was a Cessna plane crash 1.5 miles to the east from me. I live about 1.5 miles northwest of the busiest commuter airport in the country. Most of the crashes are south of the airport, but I just figured one of these days... the pilot was killed and the crash site was literally 10 feet in front of a house. Nobody else was hurt. How would that be to wake up to at 4:45 am?
Anyway, D20 is heading to Golden to hang out with friends and D17 and I are probably gonna hang out and watch movies and eat pizza. That's about my speed for sure.
Happy 2015 to all of our friends here as well!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
