I have not yet had time to read all your sitch, but I have seen the RobX "let them go" approach work very effectively. HOWEVER, do NOT do it via a letter/email/text; it MUST be done in person, while looking her square in the eye.
Also, if you add what you're wanting to add "this isn't what I want") you might as well not even bother, as that pretty much negates all of the rest of it. You want to come across as "this wasn't what I ORIGINALLY wanted, but now I realize that this isn't working for me either and I value myself too much to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with me," and "I see that now. "
THIS IS CORRECT AND SPOT ON..... EXCELLENT...... Follow this type of advice.....
