Lost, I don't understand your sitch at all but you *feel* to me like you're going through the same place I was a year ago. You don't have enough to react against but your H does feel weird and sneaky to me. I feel like you need a vet, a DB coach, or a crisis to shake some truth out of this weird limbo you're in. Wish I had better advice for you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15