I've read most if not all of your sitch and I'm wondering (and to others as well) did your W ever fight you on leaving with S11?
Hello MVG. Yes, after I told my wife she could not move with me and S11 to the condo, and that she was never welcome in the condo not even to visit, she completely freaked out and fought me hard with manipulation. Screamed, cried, accused me of taking her boy, threatened to take him instead, threatened to not let him go, threatened lawyers, threatened police, threatened court, etc. I just looked at her and said OK sure to every threat. She backed down confused every time.
This went on for a couple nights. Then she gave in but started to guilt me on ruining the holidays, disrupting S11 school year, ruing S11 birthday party, etc. I just looked at her and said basically... "This is what you wanted... separation. I'm not playing happy family." Blamed me for everything. Cursed me. Called me a coward. Screaming. Crying. Begging. Telling me she would do whatever I wanted. Everything.
Then that stopped and she has mostly pulled herself together. She now tries to control the schedule and guilt me about money and my not answering my phone.
So, in my sitch was we were all already moving to a place I control... the condo. So I just excluded her, took my money, messed with her plan, and made sure I stayed calm and was in the right and looking to protect my son. Also, she knows that she acted horribly and has an IC that seems to have told her the same. Finally some mind reading... she has said over the years that I am better with S11 and I am. She has said even recently that she feels she is not a good mother. And she seems to know she's going through a bad time emotionally as she started IC on her own. And she drinks. And she's in an A.
I'm still surprised and disappointed in my W that I was able to do it. I can't imagine she's missed so many days with her son.
I hope this helps you. You just have to be the calm and firm, don't react, make sure your intension is to help your kids and yourself, and make sure your W understands that you know she loves her kids and you want to protect your kids love for their mom.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014