Oh, Good Lord! First we have Meredith's H with his "boinking" remark...now this? This, my friend, is what is now known as "Pulling a Sting."
My own H made a juvenile, lewd comment the other day, and I told Mer that from now on I would refer to statements like that in this manner. So, now you can write to Meredith and say, "Guess what? My H just 'pulled a Sting.'"
But, Betsey....Oh, Betsey....your story begs the question... Why weren't you immediately down on yor knees?????
Oh, Zoo, I knew where his comment came from... it was just so unexpected. He has not made one sexual comment or innuendo since, well, I can't remember!
That was my WTF moment!!!
I'm glad you guys are rolling, because it WAS meant to be funny... however, this behavior of his is reminiscent of the days long before he moved out.
Had I not been with him myself, I'd have thought he was drunk... but he was not.
So there you have it!
Pam, I may be known for my appreciation of public places, but even this is beyond the pale for me!
Besides, we had 9 little chaperones. And I will let you know exactly what these little prim and proper girls think...
Bowling next to us were a bunch of teenagers. One couple was heavily engaged in a good makeout session when D10 and another girl shouted at them, "HEY! GET A ROOM!"
One of the guys was wearing those stupid pants where the waist is around their butt--giving us a good shot at his less than meager offerings. D10 yelled at him, "Would you PLEASE pull up those pants! I don't want to see!"
We heard him go over to his group and say, "One of those girls told me to pull up my pants!" He seemed surprised!
Then there was some lewd behavior that was discussed in both cars on the way home. Mr. Wonderful said he was speechless at what those girls observe while distracted. I was not, because I can actually remember being their age.
They all commented how making out was revolting and I was trying to contain my snickers inwardly. I finally spoke up when the lull appeared. I had a very captive audience.
"If I EVER catch any of you doing that sort of stuff, I promise that it won't be a secret for long. I know all your parents and know that they agree with me."
I heard them all groan and one of them said, "PLEASE! We're not that disgusting. We never will."
I commented, "Well, we'll discuss this in a few years and see who really feels that way. But this convo applies then too. I don't ever want to catch any of you doing that sort of stuff in public places, or you'll be answering to more than just me."
They were appalled! D10 said, "MOM! How embarrassing! Nobody does that kind of gross stuff!"
Little does she know. If only she had seen her dad's lewd suggestion she would have died from shock.
I survived. Time to take the last one home and take the girls out to get hair trimmed. Another fun day in the ocean!
TTFN!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: Pam, I may be known for my appreciation of public places, but even this is beyond the pale for me!
May I suggest never leaving home without a book of rainchecks, then? You could have whipped one right out and scheduled a better time and place!
I'm right with D10 on the whole PDA thing. Yuck! No worries here, as my H thinks that hand-holding is too much PDA!
Ya know, Betsey- It may have been a lewd comment...but it is a sign of your H creeping back to his "normal" self. It's probably been a LONG time since he felt safe enough to say something like that. So, guess what you get? A big GO YOU!!!!!!
Hi, Bets - I just wanted to drop by and say goodbye. Dustin is most likely going to file divorce papers on Monday, so my efforts are pretty much kaput. I just don't feel like I can help support anybody else when I am continually failing at my own efforts.
Thanks you so much for your help, and I am sorry I couldn't do it.
Thanks again, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
AH, so the alien moon has shifted and we begin to see glimpses of our husbands! WHOO HOOO!!!
Quote: Ya know, Betsey- It may have been a lewd comment...but it is a sign of your H creeping back to his "normal" self. It's probably been a LONG time since he felt safe enough to say something like that. So, guess what you get? A big GO YOU!!!!!!
Yep, MW pulled a Sting. And you handled it fabulously! I think this is great progress. DITTO to what Pam said!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
Dear Underdog, I trust you will continue to keep the troops on their toes and entertained!
Take care and bless you during this Lenten time. I will be back on the board mid-March and will check back.
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Laurie--Thanks for stopping by! I hope you have a nice break from having the headset glued to your ear, and will look forward to your return. By that time, I'll probably be ready for another session with you.
Pam and Meredith--Yes, this IS Mr. Wonderful creeping back to his normal self. I do want to state for the record that he usually is only lewd for my ears and eyes only. This was clearly a case of being in the wrong place at the right time, and he took advantage of it.
However, true to alien form, there was no contact with my sometimes human/othertimes alien H yesterday. He's leaving for CA after lunch and will probably call sometime in the next couple hours to check in. It's his M.O. but I wouldn't be surprised if he skipped it altogether either.
Now here's some leftover stuff from late Friday afternoon and through the weekend, which I didn't post earlier. Triple J was on a chat with me, so we celebrated one of the baby steps--he was kind enough to toast to my success a few times Friday night. I have to love an Irishman who can drink to someone else!
Before I left work on Friday, Mr. W. called me from cell. Again, HAPPY and full of newsy updates. Note: he did not ask me about Martha's status, even though I was prepared to answer with accuracy.
He told me we were getting back a hefty sum from the IRS and the state of CO when we file the tax return. Yes, I damn near fell out of my chair. He attributed the boon to increased withholding on his part...
I didn't want to notice that all the write offs were made possible because I have been paying the fricking mortgage for the entire year....
Anyway, instead of gritting my teeth I offered, "Well, now we don't have to worry about how we're going to pay for D10's summer camp. That will really help."
MW: "Oh, good idea."
Me: "Maybe this would be a good time to get the brakes fixed on the motor home?"
MW: "I was HOPING you'd say that! There's also some other engine work I'd like to get done if you're okay with spending some more money on it."
Me: Mind? Only if we're going to sell it as part of a D settlement. "That sounds like a wise decision."
MW: "Yeah, the last time I used it--remember, I took the girls camping on fall break last year?"
Couldn't forget. You weren't talking to me then and came back in a worse mood than when you left.
Me: "Yes."
MW: "Well, it was idling weird, so I want to get this thing working really well before we take it camping this summer."
ME: WOW! I hope the 'we' includes me! "Okay, that's a great idea."
For anyone who wonders about this damn motor home, it holds the key to connecting optimally. Camping is the ONE thing that we both LOVE to do together. Even he couldn't rewrite those times into negative ones, so he had chosen to not discuss them.
We sold our pop up 2 years ago to some friends so we could buy the motor home--it was the only way we could take D6 camping and have fun. We needed the capability to self contain ourselves and hit the deadbolt. Plus the A/C feature made things much more comfy when camping around here in the summer.
On to Saturday...
After not sleeping well, I rose early and headed to the gym. It was crowded and I found a good place to hop in and the lady next to me started chatting with me. She introduced herself and started to tell me more.
When she revealed some info that sounded familiar, I finally asked her if her last name was X; she looked shocked and said, "Yes. How did you know?"
I told her that I knew her H.... not only is he the VP of our bank, he golfs in the foundation tournament every year.
She lives up the street from me!
She ended up offering to watch the girls for me when I needed to run errands, and I thought to myself, "Well, here's an answer to my prayers." I said, "T, could you watch them for a half hour on Monday afternoon, after the sitter leaves, so I can head to the gym?"
She beamed at me and said, "I'd LOVE to."
Her face then got sober and I asked what was wrong.
She said, "Oh, nothing, but I just realized that my prayers were answered. I am now the secretary for the high school psychologist but used to be a special ed para--and I've really and truly missed the work and the kids.
With my kids grown, and with my depression, I had been praying for God to bring me a family who I can help again, and I just realized that it is you. My H is going to be thrilled to hear this, but it's going to be especially wonderful to him when he hears that person is you."
She came over to meet the girls last night, and she and D6 loved each other. And she was right. I talked to her H yesterday afternoon and he commented that although he knows it's a small world, he knew that it was too small to be coincidental.
I have a new friend and neighbor who can not only support me and my family, but be supported as well.
Okay, it's month beginning and I'm swamped. Have another post or two and then I'm off for awhile.
Hugs to all,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Miracles DO happen! The lady from the gym brought tears to my eyes...what a good story!
This time of separation might be just what the doctor ordered for you and MW. I'd pay big bucks to get my own H out of town for a while so we can both process these new feelings...
I'm so impressed with the way you handled the refund amount! I would probably have at least mentioned the fact that I had been paying the mortgage...and I liked your way much better. Especially since everything worked out according to FAMILY.
GOOOOOO YOU!!!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
