Geesh your right..I had to take a little nap and regroup. He texted about picking up the kiddos tomorrow he is suppose to get them from the babysitter but instead wants to pick them up from me at the house later than usual. Not sure what that's about but I said ok and asked what time.
Trying not to think to much into this I don't know if its progress or another bomb from hell. Where as before he would try to avoid pick ups between us two.
Not your problem .. you can not read his mind .. so don't ... it is what it is. Save your energy for things YOU control ... you will get yourself all freaked out thinking of all the things it could/could not be ... focus on being calm, happy, regardless
Im excited about moving forward. I definitely look forward to me getting back my spine and setting boundaries that will be respected by him and whoever maybe in my future.
Since I was a little girl I wanted to have a family that included a partner. This whole experience has showed me that I have settled for less than that.
Expectations ... expectations ... I imagined I would be a Pilot .. am I crushed it didn't happen .. no .. stay inside what you can control ... none of us asked for this, play the cards you were dealt, do not compare the hand you have to the Pocket Aces you hoped for.
Not really mad that Im here its just difficult looking forward to a road unseen. Like whats going to happen? Im for sure a risk taker but I question my ability to know the difference and hence Im here lol. Well the sky is the limit.
I guess Im more scared of myself. My ego is a big part of me being here not knowing how to even begin to care about someone but myself is something I need to consider. Empathy compassion lasting forgiveness.
I do make my own self sick thinking i am holding someone captive by being needy or any of the other no no's its like I never ever wanna be with someone who doesn't want me. Im worth more.
Ok well I probably will be on here all night rough day for me.
You are doing fine .. you are just spinning and that's normal ... Look up and read Sandis 37 ... then read em again ... then print em ... go have them tattooed on your arm .... well .. ok .. skip the last one .. but start there ... Oh .. and breathe .. you are alive .. that's a start.
