So I have come to the realization that I have really let my boundaries be misunderstood. Boundaries make the world go around. But when you as a person do not make these things clear they will be challenged and No nagging, screaming or crying can make your point. I usually shut down and think oh I cant get the respect. You cant change someone and I know now this uis not true. You have to set the standard and then allow people the freedom to either agree or not.
Well Im not out of the woods but I am GALing and excited to do so. No more excuses for others lack ie my exH. So I thought to myself apart of GAL to me is just that letting people know so I sent my ex a email and a text message as follows:
M
After what went down on Christmas Im done. I have made it clear time and time that Im working on myself for our relationship and the kids.
That dont mean sh** under the bridge with you.
EVERYTHING AFTER THIS POINT IS UP TO YOU!!! Right wrong indifferent what ever happens your responsibility.
MJ
Im so happy I stood up for me and what I cant do. I love him and I want our family but Im not willing to hit below the belt anymore. What I mean is I have been wrong and I can only focus on me and how I can be better. Im trying to stop worrying about him and the ow. Im starting to stop worrying about him calling me out. I texted him about some matters conscrning our marital home which we sold. He came over on Christmas and took the filing cabinet. I quite graciously asked him if he had taken it and how I understand why. I also let him know that I would put anything which is not much left of his in the garage. I also told him that its better to let me know when he is taking something to let me know. His response:
H Just like selling things right, right have a good night. Roads that I travel go both ways.
So usually I would go into attack mode to defend myself. But I did not i graciously did not text call or email. From this point on everything is in his hands. I will do my part when I see him reciprocate according to what my boundaries can handle.
At 4:30am he called me. He asked how was the kids Christmas? I was thinking well you had them but I just said good. Then he started going on about what I had said about us being a united front and how I said Im his wife. He said Im his wife several times. I DID NOT RESPOND to this he has the OW still. Then he asked me about my move out date. I told him I get the keys tomorrow. Then he asked me when will I be out completely I said probably not until the 15 day before closing because I had to move everything by myself. He went on again in circles about you say Monica you wanna be my wife but you wnt give me a clear answer about moving out I had to repeat my self again. Then he offered to help me move out I said yes he said he could make that happen next Monday. I might have it all out befor then but hey he offered right thats a step in the right direction. I see hope but Im scared to be around him because I never wanna be the other woman and I dont wanna cross the line. I know what I want and that is my family minus OW and facebook, dating sites and porn. I love him and I want my family but on minus these things but I know if we see eachother alone we may hug. I wont let a kiss happen. At this point I want no physical contact. Its hard when you miss that person though. O well I no my boundaries.
