Well my next thoughts are how do I listen to a man who has few words. Its like when he does say something your grasping so hard for more you cant think how to stop when you go from one range of asking to losing it for some kind of connect. I know now he has retreated so far. Well with that said I have and had developed a fear to communicate I thought let me avoid all that is hard...the fact that he was on facebook talking to girls dating sites where he met the OW. Any outlet he could was eating at my souls convictions. My standards had been all but tarnished through this man I love and hope that through my outbursts and constant nagging I truly thought mixing fear crying and even grabbing him when he was turned to ignore me would gwet him to see we were was losing us.
My ego then went into full affect once again when he left for the 3rd time. He said "His ship has sailed" I went into full on attack mode Im the Sh** and I went in on how I really felt about him and his family. It was awful. Of course my ego lead him to another. My fault my arrogance made me think their could not be any replacement to me and here I am. second fiddle to ow she is very opposite of me from what i have gathered she is "Jump ten times" and then She asks "How high?"
Well its not about her its about how can I repair the damage done. How can I get my family back by my actions??
