Freddy, we all walk this in our own way. I do agree with my friend, Labug, though, in that we go through the stages and back around and through again.
Having said that, I have seen where something happens, like the talk you had with your wife at Christmas, and it sometimes affects us like a switch has been turned off.
Here's the thing. There is no shortcut through this. And you dont want there to be. Each and every step is important in order to come through the other side whole.
Perhaps you have come to a place of acceptance of what is. That isnt a bad thing at all.
Im thinking that you having spent time with your sister's friend and having seen some things about her which you find attractive has allowed you to let go some more.
I will say this. I have been here a long time. I have seen people get involved with others way before they are ready. Most of the time, it doesnt end well.
You have plenty of time for all of that, Freddy. Trust this process.
You are right where you are supposed to be. Go with it.
