Have a great weekend and we will look forward to your stories! Might go buy a couple dvd's for my ever growing collection!
Yea, I hate when I have to stand up for my religion too... But I draw the line and won't stand up for the pope and the priests, I figure they are on their own. Afraid, I can't go to the K of C's and I really miss that. We use to go to family chicken night! Yummy! Heard my H ow went a couple times and other family members didn't approve so she is no longer going! LOL
darn - I wish you had told me about eating fish during lent before she left for her business trip! 10 days of nothing but me an 3S. It's the week of BBB - Build a Better Bill. Exercise, rest, eating better, and some fun.
Bill.
"you are who you chose to be" - Iron Giant
Link To CURRENT Sitch
Deb--Nothing like getting dirty looks from other sinners to keep you from going, eh? Can you say guilty conscience?
About defending myself--maybe we've both grown? The pre-bomb me would have done that until I fell over from exhaustion. The new me just says, "Sorry to hear you're angry" and walks away. Actually, under my breath I say, "Too bad for you, cuz I'm not fighting with you!"
Bill--BBB! I like that! Can I steal that since I'm a B too?
Pam--We'll just keep boobs and writing a secret from our kids, won't we?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Hey Hud, if you're lurking... I finally watched Daddy Daycare with the girls last night, and they have a couple scenes where one of the kids wants to watch the Stooges.
I saw all 3 of them pirhouetting around in kilts and immediately thought of you...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Sure! Although the crazymaking and Bob things are separate. Here goes:
Just picture Bob Barker as the quintessential host of The Price is Right: he's always wearing an effervescent smile which genuinely reaches his eyes, he's genuinely happy to greet everyone (including trailer park trash), he roots for others to win and he's never condescending when they screw up.
I gave an example of this in my previous thread but it's good to serve as a reminder to myself and everyone else.
Bob is not manipulative. Why not? Because he isn't nice to others for an ulterior motive. Well, maybe he doesn't want TPIR to be cancelled....
Before Mr. W. departed for la-la land, I used to come home from work to the same scene every night: D6 watching TV, D10 doing her homework and Mr. Wonderful moving about in the kitchen--wowing us with his culinary skills.
I was usually in a crappy mood. I slammed my stuff down on the counter and proceeded to vent. I'd speak to both of them and get really snotty answers, and walk off in a huff to change clothes. We'd eat dinner (which was not fun, because we were all in crappy moods by then) and I'd ask the big question: Why are you guys so damn grumpy all the time?
One night, one of them piped up, "Well, we were totally fine until you got home."
So if I had the power to turn my family members into grumps, this meant that I also had the power to turn them into happy campers. I tried it one night after Meredith had done magic on the board and carried Bob home to deal with Sting...
I walked through the garage door, stood at the base of the steps in the family room with a huge 1000 megawatt smile on my face and exclaimed breathlessly, "Hello! I'm so happy to be home and see all of you!"
The reaction of my 3 family members told all. D6 clapped, D10 squealed and came running up to me to hug me and give me a kiss, and Mr. Wonderful backed up (okay, I scared him--this could be taken as a negative, but the fact is that I shocked him).
That means that I'm taking the ACT AS IF concept to the extreme--I'm acting AS IF they will be thrilled to see me, and they are! Miracles do happen!
Hey, I've been told that I have a great smile and perfect white teeth to help my cause (with dimples to boot), so it's pretty obvious when I am happy. I have to tell you that their reactions DO make me happy, so it takes about 1 minute for my brain and body to fully engage so I can continue to be Bob (rather than pretend to be him).
Summary: my family members want to be with me more when I'm happy than when I'm not. This affects all the interactions we have for the rest of the night: the girls seem more cooperative, Mr. Wonderful doesn't seem to be in as big a hurry to scurry back to the cave, dinner is pleasant and I feel empowered.
But go back and read through my last thread (as well as Meredith's) because Bob is not appropriate company under specific circumstances (R talk, somber news, disciplinary action, etc.)
Crazymaking.... well this might take a few posts to get that out again. It is an addiction where we create drama to get something we need. It begins in childhood and serves a purpose then, but we can and should recognize that we can get our needs met using more mature methods.
My need to crazymake is to get words of affirmation from my parents (in childhood) and Mr. W. (adulthood).
Unfortunately, the method is no longer useful in adulthood. We need to find other ways to get our needs met.
I've proudly been sober since last June, though the need to create drama is ever present--and it really becomes a frenzy for me when things are out of control or I'm feeling very stressed or I need someone to tell me something affirming.
Does this help answer some of your questions? Anyone else can feel free to jump in...
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Though I'm not Catholic, being the penitent Methodist that I am, I decided to fast today!!!
It's really starting to be a drag, this suffering though
I mean, I'd have thought maybe I had my share of it already this past year...oh well.
Heading into my weekend missing my D3 a bit, but I'll find ways to stay busy (nyuk, nyuk, nyuk).
Glad to see you continuing to instruct other folks here
Hope you have a great weekend, Bets.
Really looking forward to seeing you next month ('ya know, now I'm going to Pheonix in a couple of weeks too! Wonder if I can work up a shark meeting there?)
