Lost, remind us -- what is your H's position with respect to the OW? Has he acknowledged her or completely denied it? Does he claim that he is no longer in contact with her, or did he just agree to respect your boundary and not contact her when you (or the girls) are there?
I've been pondering a little piece of wisdom I recently received from a friend: Trust him even when he doesn't deserve it.
I don't know that I agree with it 100%, but I think there may be some merit to it. My trust issues get in the way a lot in my M. They are completely justified, but they still get in the way. If I choose to take him at his word, it saves me from agonizing over whether I'm being told the truth or not, and it's easier for me to interact with him in a positive way. He may not deserve it, but at the same time I'm not making any big decisions right now that would be affected by whether or not he's being honest with me.
I guess this is all to say -- if he's said he's not contacting the OW when you're home, maybe you can trust that he's being honest and focus your energy elsewhere (like making sure that you spend QT together).
