3 months after BD, the roller coaster ride hurts

[devotee]

I do have several friends who can help me if anything happens. I will get out at the slightest sign of abuse but I dont forsee him doing anything, he has never been violent.
I am trying to be understanding and have reached out to him to talk. I told him I love him no matter what, he is still my best friend. I want us to be civil and to try and get through these hard times with the least damage and stress to either of us. He is not responding.
I hate that the shoe is on the other foot now, I never wanted to hurt him. But we need time to figure ourselves out. Giving him a second chance Rught now will just take us back into our rut.