although financial consent orders and custody agreements need to be resolved before the decree absolute they are not part of the divorce process. I drafted an agreement several months ago covering this stuff (which she sought to change as of 22nd december).
Those two issues are what urgently needs your attention in the sense you really need to spell out some non-negotiables to your L. Knowing what your wishes are, your L will be clear on those items.
Originally Posted By: jim0987
from my perspective I have said to W and my solicitor that i cannot give her any money for the equity in the house unless there is an agreement that that represents the totality of my financial commitment and waves any future claims. If this can only be acheived through the divorce process so be it as i will not expose myself financial any more than i already am.
No more talking to W about those matters. From now and on, those issues must be communicated through the lawyers. Remove yourself from the process for your lawyer is there to protect your best interests and it also serves another purpose in shielding you emotionally as well.
Originally Posted By: jim0987
my W sees this as me 'trying to pull the wool out from under her' hence her threat to move out on the 20th and take the kids to hampshire (anytime during this process she feels i'm standing ground she threatens solicitors actions and taking the kids from me)
Have you communicated this ^^ to your lawyer? He must be informed of everything like this so he knows what he is dealing with. She just cannot threaten you through emotional blackmail using the kids as "pawns" or imagined leverage against you. It is wrong. WRONG, WRONG!
Originally Posted By: jim0987
As for the divorce itself it seems like the only issue in me accepting the divorce is my fault is an ego thing, where as pushing it the other way risks all kinds of spew and destructive behaviour.
Let W spew until she's the blue in the face!! You need to take care of yourself. She's gonna try to push every button in the world to get you to back off. That is tried-but-true trick ripped straight out of the WAW play book. Don't fall for it and turn into a wet noodle.
