If he's defensive about his texting he's quite aware he's in an inappropriate relationship with another woman. If he snaps about it and tells you he's done, then he's having some kind of affair (emotional or physical). IF he's telling her how disgusting sex with you is, then he's a piece of sh*t. That's what people tell their lovers and affair partners. I'm sorry, but he's ACTING like he's having an affair and he knows it.
You don't need to "Tell him" he's having an affair. He knows it. Don't be afraid of him.
He needs to be afraid of what losing you will mean for him emotionally and financially.
You can't "nice" your husband out of his affair and into the marriage. Don't try.
You need to display your strong, sexy and intriguing side -- but not for your husband. He'll sense immediately you are desperate and it will turn him away. You do it for you.
1. Start with the Last Resort Technique. Right away. This will give you some of your power and control back.
2. You can't make him do anything. Tell him, however, you find the texting to his friend in front of you disrespectful. He may snarl at you, but he can't carry on an affair in front of your nose in YOUR house. Set some boundaries. People are attracted to those they respect. If you let him treat you like trash he'll despise you more.
3. Go see a divorce lawyer ASAP. You don't need to file. Tell him/her what the situation. Know your rights and know what to document. Get a game plan ready in case this goes south. Think through how you will make it financially if you don't work with your husband anymore. This is tough, but if you see a way out financially, you will lose some of your fear.
4. You husband is NOT your life. If that's the case you will always walk in fear of losing him. If you revolve around him you will suffocate him with your desperation. You have your own interesting life that he's privileged to participate in. Remind yourself of that life. Re-discover it. If he doesn't want to join you in YOUR EXCITING life, then it's his loss.
5. Get mad. He's treating you like crap. No one deserves to be treated like that. Getting mad may give you the strength to rally.
6. You don't need to leave dinner for him if he's late. If he doesn't want to be with you, he can cook his own dinner. Respect yourself, and he may end up respecting you.
7. If he says he's leaving, then think through what YOU want if he leaves. Don't be taken by surprise. Show some fight.
