barely holding on - 6

[u-turn]

As I prepare, I feel like I have the same questions as many here today. When is it really time? What if I ignored it for another day? Likely, I will not feel better. It has been the imbalance of feelings and fairness that have been really taking its toll on me.

I could keep ignoring and GAL, but I really don't feel better. I am a planner, a person that comes up with creative solutions (people pay me for this) and problem solver and burying our heads is not a viable solution.

I have many scenarios going through my mind of how life will be if we hatchet this to pieces and in all of these, I think I would still feel like I failed and gave up. Didn't try hard enough.

I am not afraid to move on - just so sad about it. It's not what I've wanted. But living like this is not what I've wanted either.