Jim0987 #8 - A bit clearer on the rebuild

[edz]

Hi Jim

A tough day, no doubts. I'd agree that there's likely some self convincing going on and I constantly hear the comment believe nothing that's said 50% of what's doene but, ultimately you are talking.

I'm still waiting for my w to comment on her thoughts, the
Last comments she raised being that she was happy with having left (July) then not happy but not sure if she wanted to come back or be alone (august) and radio silence since..

I'd say for good or bad the two of you having your own space will allow you to explore what you want as well, of course, as allowing you to detatch. Like the rest of us I don't know the answers and I do want my family back together but as you've said my positivity and, indeed, sanity have been a lot better since I've moved and created my own space. I don't know if this is short term or if I'm creating bedrock to move forward with w or post marriage and I hope that you'll find the same peace of mind and ability to be happy even of the idea of it knots you up right now.

When w spoke to me in July as mentioned above I heard all the ilybnilwy, grown apart, changed, on and on. She then wrote me a letter and emailed it to me - word document by email, no doubt in my mind it was written by mil and then emailed on, mil is also tech illiterate and forgot I could track what PC the document was written on, oops - saying the defining reason for us splitting was my relation or lack of it with s, then came a breakdown that she needed to be away from mil but didn't know if she wanted to come back to me. The constant thing here is she was profoundly sure at each stage this was it. What the issue was and what she wants...until it wasn't.

I'm not being overly confident etc here, there's a very good chance we're done as a couple, there is also a chance we're not. There's a certanty I need to carry on and aim to be happy.

So I suppose I'm saying its a horrid situation, get yourself into your own space, that's not the end so be wary of creating artificial deadlines and "ends" of which I've been guilty. There are stories on here of people splitting, divorcing and more and ending back together. But if not we can still be happy if we allow ourselves to be open to the option.

I'm still working on it all and am no expert but I'm working on it.

Keep your head up mate and have faith in yoursepf, your ability to change and handle change and to be happy for you and the kids and w if she so chooses.

Take care
Edz