HP, I think your anger towards your W is really something to think about and try and work on.
If, in her interractions with you, she's picking up curtness, barely suppressed rage etc, it's not going to get you closer to where you want to be.
I know she is in an A (as is my H) and it's all pretty hard to take. But how you deal with that can make a big difference to your sitch. Getting to the 'friendly and busy and distracted neighbour' phase may help you a lot?
It has helped me to truly accept. My H doesn't love me right now. He thinks our R is over. He loves someone else right now. I don't love any of this and none of it is fair - but it IS what IS - at least for now. Not fighting against it has helped my anger, and I don't show anger towards H. I'm pleasant in any exchanges we have.
There's a time and a place to deal with your feelings of anger. For now, deal with them away from your W and process them yourself. If you reconcile, sharing your feelings, including the anger, will come.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
