Jim - Again, I agree with you here Something else that has crossed my mind though, and something to think about T-mom - the possibility that a detached, friendly, room mate, that has nearly no contact, goes out on his own, finds his own activities, could be exactly what they want. It leaves them feeling less guilty about everything, in fact maybe it even justifies an A even more.
To me this complicates and perpetuates this limbo. I know we are doing this for ourselves, but do you ever think that instead of showing them a person that they'd be a fool to leave, that you are proving that this is all perfect?
Just wondering.
u-turn... what you say being room mates happened to me. After I confronted my W about what I thought was a continuing EA... she considered us separated and moved to the couch. Then, as I started to go out more without telling her where I was going, she did the same but to escalate her A. There was a lot of anger in our house at the time, so I didn't do it right. I was not detached. I'm sure if you're detached and moving on then WAS could take interest in you. Mine actually did ask lots of questions about what I was doing. She just seemed to decide I had moved on which seemed to be what she wanted. So a warning this can backfire if you don't like seeing your WAS walk out the door weekends while you both may know she is lying to you.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014
