My childhood sexual abuse came into play in our marriage, and my husband was sex starved for years. I missed the affection and connection that comes along with it, but thought he just didn't want to have sex with me, which became true as he blocked himself off from wanting to be intimate with me. He says that he has built up a defense against my touch and he is "repelled" by it. Really, I can understand all of that. He does love me more than anything other than our son, he is just not in love with me. He will not go to a sex therapist, and is now seeking intimate partners. I am a very smart woman (normally!LOL) and I can easily figure so much about what he's doing and even sometimes with whom. At this point, I believe he is still in the pursuit mode. So, he lives in our basement, which is finished as a family room, but we barely ever used it for that. He is currently (no landscaping/construction in NY winter!)not employed, but takes on some construction work now and then. When it snows, he will be dealing with that part of grounds maintenance and will have some income then. He has turned some work down, but not usually. I do not do anything for him, I have a life, I am moving forward with or without him, in terms of doing just about the same thing until our son leaves for college... so 3 1/2 years. I am seething below the surface with my husband, but we are getting along ok, because I am being fake most of the time... which is so unlike me. I am building up some serious resentment, and I feel embarrassed that people know my husband is looking elsewhere.
