Without going to candlelight service, it she's not hurting as much as you need her to hurt, if the situation isn't weighing on her as much as you think it should?
What I see in your post is a lot about what may or may not be happening with her and not much about you. You're hanging on her every reaction and want her to be your "old" wife.
No matter what happens, that wife isn't coming back.
This may sound harsh, but you need to let her go and create your best life without looking over your shoulder to see where she is.
I'm glad your kids got to be surrounded by a lot of love.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
