Bright,
Matt is right, only you can decide when you've had enough and want off the coaster.

I would venture to say that your mutual friends called your h as soon as you were gone and told him everything. I'm very glad you remained calm while he was there and he stayed a while. It could be that he was testing the waters to see if you would bring up the subject of separation/divorce. Many times, they come around to take the temperature of the situation.

I'm sure you are glad that visit is over and done with. I'm sorry you had to deal w/it, but at least you were home and were aware of everything he took. Yes, I do think he looks to you to be the keeper of all things, i.e., "mom" and know where everything is and if he doesn't have something, you'll get it for him. He really does need to grow up and learn to be responsible for himself and his belongings.

I do hope you are okay today.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.