Requesting support and direction

[Andy125]

I'm struggling this morning. Last night my W asked if it was ok I put the kids to bed so she could get in a nap before she went to work. I said no problem and was happy etc. After putting my youngest daughter to bed I sit up with my oldest daughter and watch some TV. My oldest was watching a show online which didn't interest me so I figured it was a great opportunity to finish folding some laundry. I went down stairs (where our spare room is, where the W is sleeping) and thought I heard a moan. I passed it off and proceded to the laundry room down the hall. Then I heard another one followed by more moaning and heavy breathing. I then subsequently heard part of a conversation with the OM. They were online sexting each other via video chat. At some point after the I love you had been exchanged I ended up making some noise which I'm sure she heard.

Now honestly this isn't anything new. I have suspected for a long time this was going on. It just [censored] to have it all confirm. The only me would have bust into the room angry and yelling. I just stood there through it all and folded the laundry. I later left and went outside to call my friend to vent.

The biggest part that [censored], outside the whole hearing it, is that I feel like my DB attempts are just smashed. I wonder why I'm even nothing at this point. She freely choose to leave us (her family) go downstairs and sext the OM.

I'm doing my best right now to view things from her perspective to try and empathize with what is going on with her right now. It's taken a lot of strength not to go down and flip her room looking for stuff. But I know that will only hurt me. That in the end all of this is only going to cause me more pain, and any hurt at this point is only because I let it. I've worked so hard to bring myself to a better place mentally, and i personally feel like this is a Devine FU right now. How should I proceed guys? Do I kick her out? Do I bring it up? Or do I let her wonder just how much I heard? Are my DB attempts just failing? Is there nothing I can do to break the hold of the monster that is now my W?