What the?

[BFloat]

Hrdtims, thanks for the visit to my post. I don't know if it's any of the reasons you suggested. I've sort of put myself in the mindset of just closing the door and walking away. I mean.. When he leaves, I just say goodbye and shut the door. Or when I drive away, I don't look back. I don't want to put myself in the frame of mind where I dwell..

Here is the latest what the? Moment... We use to do some camping together. I introduced him to North American tent camping as he grew up doing the caravan by the beach in South Africa. He does way more camping now because he has the free time without the kids. Anyway, I have been thinking of doing a solo camp trip on the Oregon coast. I just want to read.. Stare at the ocean.. To be alone with my thoughts to feel and process whatever it is that needs to be processed. I mentioned to H (because we always have these casual conversations when we're in each other's company) and he went on to say.. 1 or 2 days is fine but usually people start feeling a loopy at the solitude after too much time. So I said.. Ok. Well maybe I will invite bff to come with me. Just the other day, he brought it up again and said.. Did I want to plan a trip together (camping/hiking)? We didn't even need to camp together but close by so that I wouldn't feel alone because there would be someone close by but not necessarily in my space.

Like.. What the?? So weird.