Maybell XXV: Moving Toward the Lighthouse

[Maybell]

Several of us have talked about meeting single friends to make GALing easier. Well, I've met several... I'm finding it tricky. Most of these women are WAWs. The few that are LBS are either bitter (oh, so bitter) or so private we can't approach one another. It's really hard for me to feel sympathetic to a WAW. And they seem so sad and confused.

Is this my future post-M?

[claire7]

Wow maybell. I've had a very similar experience. It's hard to talk to the WAW friends. Just such a different perspective that I have trouble understanding. (Though in all cases, the LBS did not become someone only a fool would leave).

I wish there was a way for some like-minded folks here to meet up. Oh well. Virtual support will have to do.

But wouldn't a weekend retreat or conference be terrific? !

[SunnyB]

Wow that never occurred to me. I don't know who I
thought these people would be. That's a little discouraging.

[Maybell]

Claire, yes, the LBS didn't become someone only a fool would leave. So depressing.

Which makes me wonder if my "future soul mate" (as the psychic claimed) is going to be a cheater or a dud?

On a somewhat lighter note, the psychic read the sister of a friend of mine -- she and her H are in serious trouble, both have had affairs. The psychic "read" the affair in her aura right away and spent probably 20 minutes telling my friend's sister that she had utterly ruined her karma, that affairs are never fate or accident, that they are always a choice and that the cheater will have to really work to correct their karma or suffer for it for life and into future lives. She was HIGHLY offended.

I'm on the fence what I think of the psychic business. She told me I'm an empath who has to protect myself from other people's negative energy. That kind of rings true for me (and explains the responsibility I took for his feelings in my marriage). She spent a lot of time telling me what protection to use to cleanse myself of other people's energy.

I wonder if *thats* why I always have such blowback after I spend time with H? His bad juju is polluting my aura?

[claire7]

Grab some sage and cleanse everything right up!

[zew]

Claire, I see what you did there... After seeing the psychic, you want her to cleanse with some sage...

[Maybell]

This was on Poirot's thread:

watching Joel Osteen on TV. He's talking about letting go and moving forward. I'm not religious... but I like and recommend him. "You may have had an unfair past... but you don't have to have an unfair future. Move forward." Good stuff.

I learned a few days ago that one of my uncle's has just been diagnosed with a second round of cancer, and this time it is definitely terminal. There are pictures of my cousins celebrating what is likely his last Christmas with him that look really happy.

Twenty? years ago this uncle had an affair and divorced his first wife (my cousins' mom) in a VERY acrimonious divorce. So acrimonious that my cousins had to have separate wedding arrangements to accommodate both their parents. So acrimonious I've never seen or heard from my former aunt since.

In a statistics-defying turn of events, my uncle married the OW, helped raise her two young children, and had two more children with her. She's by his side now, for his final Christmas. When I was a kid, his rages terrified me. He looks like a different man now. And is clearly dearly loved by all six kids and all the grandkids.

My youngest uncle also was divorced by his party-animal first wife (no kids). He was so crushed. Married a few years later the BEST woman and is still living happily ever after today.

Endings can open doors to amazing beginnings.

I've had a rough day. Big BD sobs bubbling out of me from time to time all day and I'm not sure what I'm crying over. Though I have made up my mind that it's time to move forward, to tell him we need to separate the finances and prepare to sell the house. I'm done playing lady of the manor. I want to be myself.

[HPoirot]

Hello Maybell. That is exactly what Osteen was talking about. The trick is DBing... letting go of the hurt and the one who hurt you. Framing BD as the best thing that ever happened to you, then move forward to the promise of something better. That's all. Best to you. Just keep going.

[SunnyB]

Maybell I've become a big Joel Osteen fan the past few months. I listen to him on XM radio. There has been more than once that his message hit me right between the eyes, just what I needed to hear at the moment. I especially appreciate his message that a past failed relationship doesn't define your future. I find that very encouraging.

[Underdog]

Maybell--My BFF and I (both Catholic) are huge fans of Joel. We both find it oddly comforting that the message we hear is what we need. And actually, my pastor has the same ability in his homilies. I love how that happens. If you keep your heart, mind and soul open, the messages are all around us for the taking. How beautiful is that?

Hope your week is going well, and happy New Year-

Betsey