[BrightFuture]

Job, thank you for caring about me.

I’m back from home from the vacation place. I drove in yesterday. There are some things to update.

For the first time I was not very comfortable at the vacation home. I think this was because I had the thoughts that this could be my last visit there. I’ve been having the thoughts of filing for a separation, which I think would give me a piece of mind about my finances and future savings. I still want H to file for D thought, I do not want to do it myself. I think I made a mistake of asking my mutual friends if they would be willing to give their address to me, so I could send the papers them to be served to H. I asked them no not talk to H about it yet, because I don’t have a definite date of when I’m going to do it yet. They promised that they would say a word, but I actually doubt that my male friends will be able to keep that promise. OK, I’m accepting 2x4 for this, LOL.

Interesting part about the condo was that it was the same way I left it last time. I removed all the pictures of H’s family, except for his Dad’s and the one with his brother who lives here. I left the pictures of my son with his GF and myself and my female friend. So, H either didn’t notice, or was too busy partying, but he didn’t put the other pictured back on above the fireplace where they were.

He also didn’t put back in the closet all the dog’s toys. They were still in the living room where I left them. It could be because he didn’t do any cleaning yet when he was there, so they didn’t bother him.

I was contemplating whether to leave there on Saturday or Sunday. Naturally, I would want to spend as much time as I could over there. But, the weather was cold and my walks to the beach were not as pleasant. I went to the Christmas dinner to my friends. They put together a great meal. But, their kid was sick, so we had a lot of screaming and tantrums during the evening.

On Christmas morning I was invited to join a group of people who do an annual trip to a remote location in the desert to visit a man who lives there with his dogs and chickens. This man is 94 years old. I rode in an SUV with a couple who invited me. The guy does the tours to the desert and two years ago I went on one of those with some friends. And the woman works with my mutual friends. Both of them know H. The woman is now friends with him on FB. Anyway, we had about 8 4-wheel drive vehicles and about the same number of off-roads (buggies, rails, etc.) We brought canned food, water, and some clothes for the man and his dogs. It was a great trip.

On the way back, the conversation came up about how one of the people I was introduced to showed some interest. So, the woman was giving me the background on the guy. I laughed and said that it is always great to make new friends, but I was not interested in anything else. She made an interesting comment, that I’m an incredible person and that I deserve to find somebody great. And she said that she doesn’t understand what I found in H first place. She said that they are friends, but she would never see him as a relationship material. Hmm, this is something I’ve heard multiple time from different people by now. Was I blind when I fell in love with H? Or, is it just he not capable of a R right now and does show up.


To be continued...