W, we both know that's not true. Don't try to shift blame on other people for your choices. I am NOT responsible for your affair. You made that choice with your eye wide open. And you know it. This nonsense stops right now. Just so we're clear on this. I'm done talking about this issue. It's not cool with me standing right in front of you as your H.
Then walk away.
With all due respect to Wonka...
Please do not say this. You aren't the warden here. There are far more effective ways to be a strong, confident, emotionally stable man. Don't demand things. Demanding is pressure. The best way I have found to stop these things is to set them free. Firm, confident and decisive... "I have decided that this isn't working for me"....
See the difference? Also works far better because it takes off any and all pressure for them to "be" a certain way.. If she believes it is your fault she had an affair,,, so be it, tell her that you have decided this isn't working for you..
See? End of conversation. She THEN has to either tell you she does want out (which is what you are scared of)OR.. She has to convince YOU why it will work.. (see the beauty in letting them go?) They either go or they have to show you why it will work... A whole different dynamic takes place just by letting go.. Let go of the fear.. Maybe she will go. Her mind is not totally there now, so what are you out? Don't demand. Don't pressure. You aren't the warden. You have your own faults and issues. Work on those...
