My top LL is quality time, too. Maybe it's just a mismatch in terms of our values and interests that is unresolvable... maybe he is just a dud for me, to steal a term from labug I guess it doesn't really matter that much so I should stop pondering it - there's no use in trying to identify issues or what went wrong when he has no interest in working with me on it. I don't think he filed yet because I believe he would have told me as soon as he had done it, so he either has some doubt... or is procrastinating and the time hasn't been convenient enough for him (he has to go downtown during business hours which is a hassle in our city with parking and all).
pink - I was seeing an IC from from BD up until about.. August, I guess? It was helpful during the initial phase of "can't sleep, can't eat, devastated" grief place I was in. After awhile it didn't seem very helpful. It felt like we were talking about the same things and there wasn't really any place else to go. It felt like my IC wanted me to just move on and let go of H and that he was not worth my time ("immature" was used by my IC a lot!) When I would talk about things that H was unhappy with me about and that I said I wanted to try and work on, my IC would say things like "Is that really that problematic? That seems like a very normal reaction/feeling/whatever given the circumstances"... which maybe that's all true and there really just wasn't anything else I needed to personally figure out at the time.
I realized when I was thinking of people to invite out somewhere (Maybell, I went to the sample tasting by myself but had a nice chat with the wine pouring guy about the different types of wine ) that I have a grand total of... 3 friends that I feel close enough to invite over or ask to dinner that live in the area. A fourth friend is moving here soon, which I'm super excited about. I'd rather have a few close friends than a large circle of more distant friends. But, of those few close friends, 3 are married or are in long-term relationships so they're often doing things w/ their partner, 2 travel quite a bit and are often gone (one was just in New Zealand for 2 weeks and was unreachable, another is spending the week in Florida for a bowl game)... the opportunities for hanging out with them feel limited. I have a lot of work "friends" but we really only hang out either right after work or during lunch.. it would be strange to call one of them up on a weekend to hang out. Maybe I should try it sometime, though!
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
I guess it doesn't really matter that much so I should stop pondering it - there's no use in trying to identify issues or what went wrong when he has no interest in working with me on it. I don't think he filed yet because I believe he would have told me as soon as he had done it, so he either has some doubt... or is procrastinating and the time hasn't been convenient enough for him (he has to go downtown during business hours which is a hassle in our city with parking and all).
) that I have a grand total of... 3 friends that I feel close enough to invite over or ask to dinner that live in the area. A fourth friend is moving here soon, which I'm super excited about. I'd rather have a few close friends than a large circle of more distant friends. But, of those few close friends, 3 are married or are in long-term relationships so they're often doing things w/ their partner, 2 travel quite a bit and are often gone (one was just in New Zealand for 2 weeks and was unreachable, another is spending the week in Florida for a bowl game)... the opportunities for hanging out with them feel limited. I have a lot of work "friends" but we really only hang out either right after work or during lunch.. it would be strange to call one of them up on a weekend to hang out. Maybe I should try it sometime, though!