It seems like the grief is in it's first stage and you are processing a lot of anger and guilt.
Are you seeing an IC during this time. If not, maybe it would be helpful at least for the time being. Processing all this pain and all the years you were married is not easy. Help yourself.
About the GAL, do you have friends that go out for bowling, karaoke or dancing? Talk to your close friends, tell them you need their help to get out of the hole you are in. It's no shame to say to your best friends that you need their help because you are hurting and is feeling stock.
I went dancing with a couple of friends two weeks ago, and I loved it. I met new people, I smiled a lot, I forgot the pain for awhile and I had a lot of fun getting sweat dancing.
The first times it is not so easy, so you force yourself, eventually it gets more normal and you find your own choices of what is the stuff you enjoy doing.
About your H, sorry to say but your he has a big share of why things did not work. This whole thing about his hobbies is so childish, it's sickening. Maybe, it is time for him to do some grown up and get his s**t together.
With all what you have been venting that happen between you and your H and all the choices he made about not spending time with you, it just seems that you are so much more mature then him, that makes me think you will be in a better place soon enough without him around.
Maybe you can let it be for now. Work on yourself, your goals, how you want to see yourself in 6 months, in a year. If you do that, maybe your H will came around to check things out. It's not impossible to get together after D, and by the way, H probably did not file yet.
Keep the friendship and move forward. If you guys fall in love again, then there will be a time you will sit down and talk about your new M/R. The one you had is dead, it will be a whole new R, right?
Just my opinion, but try to take one task at a time, don't burn your brain with lots of toughs and no action. Give yourself time to heal. Even if you don't feel like try to enjoy yourself, list the things you like about yourself and the ones you don't and try to work slow on the one you can improve.
Dress up, put some makeup. Feel good about who you see in the mirror.
If it helps, do all this to show your H you will be OK, things are working out just fine for you. It's very powerful. I start doing all this to show my H how I was moving on with my life and started liking it, I do not want to go back, I actually like who I am becoming.
Hope you can get to a better place very soon. We are all here for you.
