A Lifetime Movie Starring GB #11

[Georgiabelle]

Cali, Job and Mighty, thanks for stopping by. Job, I appreciate your very thoughtful post. As I've documented, I struggle with "just being" and this has been tough for me this holiday season. That crazy control thing creeps up and I must learn to feel it and let go. What a struggle that is for me! I'm trying

So, I did want to share something I realized. Kids have been away since yesterday am. Prior to marriage, I struggled being "alone" (even though I frequently felt "alone"). I thought if it was Friday or Saturday night and I had no plans or no guy, then I must be advertising loser. While, it is difficult for me to be away from the kids, I ran 5 miles today, slept in, went to M@cys (which I never do), read, and took down Xmas decorations. To show everyone how not used to being around the kids I am, I briefly got excited when I saw they were reshowing the season premiere of Curious George. I thought I would watch tv, but short of sports, I haven't watched tv in years so I have no idea what I would watch. Donated stuff to Goodwill this am. Will clean again tomorrow. And you know what? I'm okay. I'm not a loser.

I was invited to a party tonight by my extremely bohemian friends (as in they haven't showered since 2007-I kid:). I was going but honestly, I decided not to as well, I didn't feel particularly social and it was an hours drive away. My bf just called and I'm meeting her tomorrow. She made a comment that I thought earlier today. She said, "GB, next time let's steer clear of the overly emotional guys. It's okay if they cry when someone dies or the dog dies, but you go for the extreme one." And is she ever right. I always go for the super sensitive dudes.

I'm back on my self imposed staying away from males who aren't in the friend zone. Not because I don't love non friend males (gosh, I do love cute, funny guys), rather I need to get to a better place before I try that road again. It's not fair to anyone. One day, I'll be ready. And thanks, Job. I honestly do think I'm a catch. I've got stuff to work on (still) although overall I really do have my caca together.

I do need to get through the holidays. Sending everyone positive energy!