Card29 VIII

[Card29]

Thanks for sharing that. And thank you for thinking of me. There is so much to learn from in that story. I also found it amusing that Pink's H's OW is in Paris. That is where my W was when she decided to leave me. City of Romance my ***!!! lol

I have felt amazing for about 2 days now, ever since I had that talk with WAW on Christmas eve night and then had a huge cry on my aunt's shoulder. I think I have been resisting the acceptance stage of grief for a long time, and now I am really, truly letting go and accepting what is happening. It doesn't mean I've shut the door. I am not even thinking about hope. I am just living, continuing to work on myself. And this time there is no doubt that the work is for me, my future, and D2.

There has also been a development. My sister (not the one that has been acting crazy) is trying to set me up with her best friend. She recently broke up with her BF of 5 years because he couldn't commit to M. My sis knows I'm in no hurry (heck, I'm still married). Her friend is only one week removed from that R and doesnt seem to be in any place to start another serious R. I told my sister that of course I'm interested in a possibility there, but Im not pursuing anything at the moment. But it has been tempting to think about. She is very special, and there must be something wrong with her xBF for not committing to her. I talked to sis about that on Christmas day, and I found it interesting but was prepared to table it for some time down the road, if it ever came up again. Dot dot dot...

So yesterday, my S and BIL say they're going to go hang out after dinner, if I wanted to join. Sure! They were going bowling. So we make plans. Last minute, I find out she also invited her best friend. It was just my sister, my BIL, sister's best friend, and me. What is this, a double date? I was a little uncomfortable, and very nervous. On one hand, I am still married, even though I expect D papers to be filed any day now. On the other, if I did have to move on to someone new someday, I honestly don't think I could pick a better woman. So I didn't want to screw up a "first date", you know? It wasnt a date, but it kind of felt like it.

We had fun, we ended up getting drunk at a bar and dancing for several hours. Nothing happened physically between me and the friend, although we did dance some (fun dancing, not really physical dancing). Out of nowhere towards the end of the night, she drunkenly told me she didn't see us together. I just said okay, even though I had never mentioned a word of anything like that to her. Sis must have been in her ear! So I let it go and moved on with the night. At the end of the night, after her friend passed out back at our house, I told sis what she told me (sis is hoping for this thing to work out more than anyone). She said, "she was drunk, and she just broke up with her BF. She's already rejected 3 dates. She just needs some time." I let it go and enjoyed the remainder of my night hanging out with BIL.

This morning, apparently my sister told her friend what she (friend) told me last night. The friend approached me this morning and said she didn't mean it, but right now she doesn't see being with anyone ever again (that's the pain talking).

So that's that whole weird sitch that happened yesterday. I really didn't pursue any of that. I did have fun. It did convince me that I will be fine regardless of what happens with WAW, this friend, or anyone else.