1st post, Green Jealousy

[Isbar]

Hi. thanks for responding. We have 1 daughter, 20yr. I had 2 kids when we married. He is a wonderful step dad, the kids were 5 & 11. he was great. we actually work together, in his business. we had a wonderful close bond, but not lately. he has seemed very distant, (now I know why) 6 years ago he started sleeping in a separate room, He snores, he likes tv on and light, I like quiet and dark. we still got together 1 day on the weekend. not so much lately. he comes home 2 hrs, later, Ive got dinner, then we watch a small amount of TV, suddenly hes very tired. I had checked the phone records for a completely different reason, saw many phone calls after midnight 2-3 hrs long! no wonder he was tired. the phone calls averaged over 40 hours in a month, for 8 months. mostly after midnight. then checked text mess, averaged over 50 a day, with same person, I did a reverse telephone look up to see who, it was an old friend from before we got married. She came to his BD party in May, I hadn't seem her in many years, the phone calls started in April, she was probably having personal problems with her husband. definately since spring I feel like we drifted.
He was furious at me when I called him out. "She is just a friend! & you have no right to pry! & You are disrespectful, mean, always criticizing! You are mean to our daughter! & I'm going to move out!" I was shell shocked, we haven't been even talking, no fighting, When am I mean??
As far as if it is sexual, he said it wasn't (because she is married!)
as far as texting her in the same room, I haven't said another word about it from 2 weeks ago. we only spoke about it that one night.
If I tried to set boundaries he would be so angry, and tell me I couldn't tell him what friends he can have.
Financially we have to both work, together every day.
Starsky I don't have a plan, I'm just trying to be as nice and sexual as I can be. He seems to be responding in a good way, but the texting has NOT slowed down.
After having great sex last Friday night, he texted the OW about it, and said he felt molested. I had snuck a peek at his phone last week. He doesn't let go of it.
GAL I have been instructed. My life is taking care of my husband.
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