Well, thank you both for managing to see some good in what I thought was a pretty rotten exchange!
I appreciate the male perspective on this, HP. My H has often said that he's tired of feeling like he's failing me, and I know that triggers his most basic fear -- which, like most men, is fear of failure. One problem that I'm running up against is that he also wants to do things "his" way and not feel controlled. Unfortunately, when I tell him what I need/want/etc, he feels controlled. He'll give it, but he may resent me for it (or not -- it really depends on the situation). And this is not mindreading on my part; he has admitted all of this in MC. It does put us in a particular quandary, I think.
Ganb8ate, hahaha to the suggestion that I'm patient person. You are kind, but I readily acknowledge that patience isn't one of my virtues. This experience has taught me that I do have more patience than I realized, though, and I think sometimes I still sell myself a little short. You are right; with a little bit more time and less pressure, he may come around to more of this on his own.
This experience has taught me that I do have more patience than I realized, though, and I think sometimes I still sell myself a little short. You are right; with a little bit more time and less pressure, he may come around to more of this on his own.