Hi friends! Thank you so much for reading my long tale. And thank you so much for the words of feedback and support.
Of course I agree 100% with all of you. Claire I did not take your words to be mean-spirited at all! In fact I am thinking the exact same thing you stated.
In a way I was glad to see the really yucky side of him because on past occasions when we have met alone he has been strange but more like his normal self. I got a glimpse of what is really going on with him and that did shock me a bit.
Ganb8te I think I will use your line if I need to. I like it! Thank you for always being there to read my sagas.
Mozza your words are very insightful. Indeed I have a past pattern of not exactly saving H but being his biggest cheerleader, building his confidence and encouraging him on all levels. In fact at BD I thought that it was my own fault for being too supportive of him and creating a monster ego. Silly. But you have some very smart insight there. Indeed, I feel he is searching for love that will save him from loneliness and give his life meaning. I think if he finds that love he will 'change back' to the sweet and wonderful guy. I guess that was what I meant, and it hurts me to consider it. Good insight though on the saving... And I agree with what you said. He is no catch now and I am lucky not to be involved with him. I am very angry with him but seeing him like this was worrisome and took away some of my anger.
Oh HP your situation is so difficult, thank you for taking the time to read mine. I agree with your assessment reflecting back to your own wife's behavior. It is easier to see when we look at someone else's story isn't it? I see your situation and I think wow, she is acting horribly but keeps contacting poor HP, he should just cut her off and let her swing in the wind. (complicated due to your son of course) But then in my own situation I feel that gray area where he is acting horribly but also being friendly and kind to me, just like your wife sometimes does with you. It makes it hard for me to be distant. You make a good point, thank you!
Thanks again my friends for reading and offering your wisdom. My goal is to continue to live my nice life and let him deal with his situation on his own. I will not reach out to him nor be there as his chatty buddy. I will consider whether to take a harder line and tell him not to contact me or simply be unavailable. I'll figure it out. I don't think he's hit the bottom yet but it is looking pretty close. For me the sky is the limit! I am feeling good about myself.
