I snooped once when he spent the night and literally found nothing. He supposedly sat in the car while the rest of his boys when into the strip club during his bachelor party and I truly do believe him. But I also do see how if by some small change he did cheat on me, I could see him ending things abruptly with no explanation.
A few weeks ago I actually had him watch my son two nights in a row so I could go out. The first night he kept coming into my room while I was getting ready and asking if I was going on a date, etc. (I brushed it off and never answered). Then he started saying "good for you" and my blood was literally boiling. On one hand it felt like he was pushing me out the door. On the other, even if he was jealous and just commenting, it was irritating as hell.
I get the feeling that a huge part of this is his family. The last time we had an R talk, I said I thought we could have a fresh start. And he said almost to himself, "what about my family". His mom and brother have NEVER liked or supported our relationship and both seem to have gotten off on the fact that he walked out on me. He also made a comment about how a part of him wishes he could take me and S8 to another state and just start over. I could be mind reading here, but this makes me think that one of the reasons he is afraid to come back is that he is worried about what his family/friends will think. If that's the case, I'm up against a hell of a lot more than I thought.
I do also think he is having some sort of quarter life crisis. He has been bouncing from one hobby to the next. First it was surfing, then mountain bike riding, and now it's rock climbing. Recently he told me he wants to put a bed in the back of his truck and travel the country for weeks at a time. He seems to be "searching" for something. He doesn't seem to know his place in this world. And I think he saw marriage and starting a family as a dead end. He keeps saying that maybe "5 to 10 years from now" we can have another try. Ughm... 5 to 10 years?? No thanks.
Me 26 ; H 26 S 8 Married less than a year Bomb 9/15/14 H moves out 9/15/14 H Files 11/21/14 Served D papers 12/31/14
