Ok. This is my story , W had PA bout 4 years ago. I snooped around and found my evidence and confronted her. Total instant Remorse/Guilt, NC, Transparency. I insisted MC but she talked me out of it. She did IC and just wanted to move on and forget everything. No real answers only vague issues on her end. The next year was like we were newlyweds again, seems we learned a lot and took the most difficult thing I ever had to endure and turned it around in a positive way. We were so happy, so many things were said and her actions made me feel so secure. Then I started getting comfortable again and never thinking that I ever had anything to do with A, it was the last thing I ever thought would happen again. I got the ILYBNILWY, WHAT!? We promised to be truthful to each other, we promised better communication. We promised to love each other forever, how blind was I?
So this time around I totally felt that familiar intuition. She kept telling me there was no one, I did my snooping and sure enough.... When I confronted her this time I was expecting the same result but didn't quite get it. This feeling, I would not wish this on any man. I moved out of the BR and into the spare room. I know I should have kicked her out but didn't. Still under same roof, we hardly talk, she's still in contact with OM, I haven't been pressuring , pursuing or talking about OM. She wanted space to make a decision and I'm giving that to her. Read DB and reading DR now. Trying to detach tough when in same house. Starting to GAL, working on 180. I love her and want her to come back to me. I understand that she's in a fog and it's so frustrating. But then there are times when I look at her and I don't see the woman I married and I'm actually disgusted by her.
I admire all of you that gave so much of yourselves and remained patient loving and caring. There are days when I feel I can do the same and there are others where I feel like giving up, giving in and just moving on and filing on my own. I know I can't live with a woman who can't love me back but I also know love is a verb, you create love, if it was there before it can be there again. Just need her to see it that way and commit to the marriage so,we could start piecing.
