2. 48-72 hour rule. Going to wait for 48-72 hours before bringing up anything that's angering me. And even then, I will evaluate if it's worth bringing up and potentially fighting over.
3. Stop trying to fix things. Unless specifically asked for advice, I'm staying the hell out of it. In the past I've felt the need to fix things for people and then I resented it later, because I felt they should be able to fix their own problems. Have already started this, especially with SIL's recent bomb drop in her own M. I'm itching to give her advice, to help her from going down the path of self destruction - but she hasn't asked, and it's not my business. Besides, trying to fix people or things is a) impossible and b) prevents people from learning about themselves.
4. STFU. Even more.
5. Listen more. Argue less. Stop saying everything that crosses my mind. If I feel so strongly that my opinion needs to be heard, wait 48-72 hours.
6. Stop controlling anything that isn't my self or my dog(s). I need to stay in my own lane and worry about myself. Unless someone else's actions are compromising my safety, my morals or my dignity - it's their path to walk.
7. Respect H's choices, even if I don't understand them.
8. Let it go. The thing that happened 18 years ago is not worth the haggard look on my face. If I can't let it go, I need to have a calm, and rational discussion about my feelings and then let it go. I am responsible for my own serenity and feelings. No one else is.
9. Validate other people and their feelings. Give praise. Have productive conversations.
10. Control thy temper. My boss and I have a joke at work, when someone emails us and annoyed us, we usually ignore it until we "can respond professional to their question." If I'm in a bad mood, I need to either hide out until it passes, or avoid conversations until I can, "respond professionally."
11. Learn to communicate better.
I still have a few others that I'm mulling over, but that's where I'm at so far.
M:32,H 32 T:10, M5 BD/H Move Out: 9/2014 - extreme anger H Mental Illness Diagnosis: 4/15 Served D Papers: 10/15 Divorced: 11/15
