Hey exquistetobe, simplicity - what a great word. I am getting back to that myself and I agree completely with your statement about living simple...I like it!
Me - 42 exH - 56 Married 10.5 years Together 17 bomb dropped 1/6/14 signed papers 2/4/14 H moved out 2/22/14 D final 4/4/14 Dropped the rope 5/17/14 2 cats, 2 dogs
Guess What??? ex-husband is having an affair on his current woman.. lol Surprise,surprise!!!
He will never come out of it. My outcome out of his mess?? MY SON HAS MOVE BACK HOME with the realisization of his father' s messy life.
I have met someone and started dating last October. He is amazing !!! I still have work to do on myself and repeat to myself that he is not ex-h. He has the patience of a God and I stand on the side line expecting things to blow-up or him to yell and swear but it doesn' t happen.. He looks at the problem and fixes it with a smile .. And that is what I mean by saying reprogramming my reactions .. From fear to appreciation. We haven' t had any disagreement ever since being together. We are doing really well and we share the same passion. We both love business and are discussing owning our own. we are co-workers and work very well together. We get positive results as a team. We' ll see what our future will bring
I was reading someone else's thread and the words of his children... To all of you in the middle of the storm, listen to the words spoken from others.. You will realizise that you are not involved with your ex' s choices.. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!!! As they claim it has everything to do with you.. You did not make them leave, abandoning their family and friends, dropping responsabilities on others and self-medicate.. It is not YOUR doing, it is THEIRS!!!
My children want me to be happy and have trust in me to chose someone GOOD not just a Mr. Right now like their father is doing. They have no interest in the woman ex-h is dating but want to spend time with me and Kevin and want to be part of his family.. Me and ex-h now have separate lives and his choices and my choices are totally different.. We would no longer be compatible. We are way to different now. We have different views, different goals, different lives .. I like my life and I guess, he likes his.. His outcome has cost him the respect of the people that loved him the most.. I still have that and more !!
You didn't break them, therefore you can't fix them. This is their journey to take and you were not invited along. It's all about them, not you. No matter who you are, you could be the most beautiful or handsome person in the world w/tons of money, and yet, when the clock strikes the proper time, they will enter MLC and leave you behind. Nothing you said or did would have stopped their crisis.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
You didn't break them, therefore you can't fix them. This is their journey to take and you were not invited along. It's all about them, not you. No matter who you are, you could be the most beautiful or handsome person in the world w/tons of money, and yet, when the clock strikes the proper time, they will enter MLC and leave you behind. Nothing you said or did would have stopped their crisis.
Quote:
You will realizise that you are not involved with your ex' s choices.. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!!!!
Worth repeating.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
My son and a few of his friends posted something that many of us could relate to or even use as our inspiration for 2015: 2015, New Year; New me !!
In my progress, I have reached the ME I wanted to be. I worked very hard to regain my self- confidence and self-esteem but I am finally there. Through out this journey, I never lost my self-respect. I knew I did everything I could to keep my soul clear of self-destruction. Live through to your values and principles.. that is my best advice for you all.. Do not feel selfish because you are doing what needs to be done to be healthy and making yourway off the roller-coaster which you didn' t even choose to go on..
your last couple posts are so upbeat and the things I sometimes forget to remember.
i like the don't feel badly(selfish) to do what you have to do to be you and to try and extricate yourself from this mess.
trying to regain firm footing. (life & emotions) wonder sometimes about who i am really (now) and who i was. sounds dopey- know what i mean tho? i'm a different person now definitely. working on self all the time - mostly patience, shelve any anger & resentment and don't get all screwed tight. it only upsets me. It doesn't make a dent with the people messing you around- so may as well get a grip & be "professional" about it.
hey- wake up call - treat family members and estate junk as a "job" only. keep it detached and professional. I think i can do that- I always worked and remained cool & calm - no matter what sort of insanity going on. i'll try & brainwash self about that perspective.
thanks for upbeat thoughts - glad you've got new guy and feeling happy and kids too - my goal - relatively "happy" and sane life.
Texts started coming in at 1:30AM and kept coming until 3:00 AM
XH has sent me things I should not know about.. Asking me to make copies of them all and delete them from my phone. Names and events of corrupted cops that get away with it all.. Sais he knows enough to have them shot down if exposed. Yet, keeps everything to himself because of all the people that would be affected by this. He sent me those texts because he will be bringing one of them to justice in a few days and he expect this cop to come after him.
Now, am I an accessory to this? I don' t want any part of it and I know XH is telling the truth..
