Made it through Christmas on good terms. W went to church Christmas Eve with us, then had some shopping to do while the kids and I went to my parents. Text W later in the night because I realized we had one more gift to wrap and she had all the 'Santa' paper. Told me she was just sitting at her place watching a movie, but would drop it off (she left it on the doorstep). Surprised she hadn't gone to her friend's house (they are like family to her).
She came over Christmas morning so the kids could open presents from us/Santa. I got her some small things from the kids, but then felt kind of bad seeing that she had spent more on me. Kind of regretted not having something more, but oh well. She ended up hanging out all day at the house with us. We joked, laughed- seemed like old times, although I did have a few moments of both 'I miss her and want to work this out' and 'I can't believe what she's done.' W and S12 ran over to her dad's at one point. She mentioned they didn't know anything about us, because it wasn't any of their business (she rarely talks to them). Got a text from FIL today and it appears she told them that the other 2 kids and I were sick yesterday (I was not).
While at the house, W called MIL at one point and the phone was passed around to the kids. Then she wanted to talk to me. Awkward to talk with her because I'm still upset that she paid for W's trip to FL with OM and friends (even though W claims they were not 'together' at that point). Ordered chinese for dinner and W stayed til around 9:30p. Was helping her get her stuff together to leave, when she gave me a hug and thanked me for the gifts. For a split second, it appeared she was puckering her lips, but then they quickly changed. She also called me 'dear' at one point during the day- I could tell she caught herself afterwards.
Our communication has definitely improved over the last couple weeks. She'll send me texts or call me about small, inconsequential things. What I realized the other day is that early on, I was conscious of every word that came out of my mouth, every action that I took- to show her how I had changed. Now, my changes just come out, with little thought of how W will interpret them. In that aspect- DBing has been a success!
Next hurdle will be the upcoming week. MIL comes into town Monday and I know W wants to have the kids as much as possible, even though she (and MIL) had them for the full Thanksgiving week with the understanding that I would have them 'more' during Christmas. This past week's schedule has really been no different though. I'm off work the rest of the year and kids are off school. They've been sick off and on the past week, so we haven't done much. W text me earlier today about the schedule and I finally just stopped the back and forth game because we weren't making any progress (and I was busy). I know the game we're both playing- she wants me to take the kids this weekend so she can use that when she asks for time next week and I feel I should get to keep them all week because she had them a full week at Thanksgiving. I know I should be the bigger person and let her take the kids, but I'm also taking into account that they've been sick (2 are passed out right now) and will be recovering the next few days, so do I really get to 'enjoy' my time with them right now??
