Thanks Mirage, Job, kml, tsquared and AJM for the pep talks - I needed a shove forwards.
I have pounded the beach every day, survived Christmas and heading towards leaving this year behind in a few days time.
Can't say anything has changed much - I really don't like where I am staying, I am used to having my own home, my own space, so a bedroom in my brothers house is not exactly ideal - but beggars cant be choosers and I am grateful for him taking me.
Skyped with my sx2 on Christmas Day, we stuck to safe subjects - what presents they got etc. I did not ask after H and they did not talk about him either.
The more time I spend with other couples, the more I see my relationship was (before all of this) good, we were so on the same level and "got" each other. This has made the whole sitch even more confusing and I miss him more. I know its early days for me ... which is a demoralizing thought .... it does still seem so surreal, and not helped by the fact we were used to being apart when he was in the forces, so it feels like he is on deployment and will be back soon -
Once Christmas and New Year is over I will try and decide what I want to do for the next few months - was booking a ticket back to NZ yesterday ... but know that would be a mistake. I need to give it time and keep getting through each day - go back to basics ..hour by hour if necessary.
