Old dog seeks new trick 6

[Card29]

I feel for you. I have been there off and on for months. It's okay to be angry at times. That is how you feel. It's a natural part of the grieving process. I think there are two keys, though, that are very important to follow:

- Do not take any anger out on her! No yelling at her, etc. if you need to, curse at your steering wheel, a pillow out of earshot, etc. You will eventually regret any anger you show to her. It sounds like you're really trying not to do this, so stick with it!

- Do not hold on to anger. It will come up naturally...I mean this is the ultimate betrayal if you ask me. But you are doing the right thing to choose to leave it, even if you're not successful all of the time. I understand now why people can be so crazy and furious during these crises, because perpetual anger is so much less painful to be in (in the moment) than being heartbroken. You don't feel as vulnerable, you don't feel as bad about yourself. But it is so important to be vulnerable (watch Brene Brown's TED Talk, Power of Vulnerability). That is the path of healing, the path to joy. If you numb your pain with anger, you will simultaneously numb your ability to be joyful.

OldDog, I have made it through the anger stages, and I can attest to your pain, your anger, but also to your desire to not be angry. Keeping letting go, and seek true forgiveness in your heart, for her and yourself. It will be worth it! I'm still not through the entire grieving process, but Ive been through that stage, I believe, and I can tell you that it is worth it to stick to the path that lead away from anger