Married fast? Too late? Completely stuck :/

[Complex]

Thanks. Had a good time with family and friends actually. Thanks for asking.
Thank you so much for your insight. It's just crazy to see how different views are from outside and inside.
And yes for some reason I trust her with what she said. And I'm actually more on the side of believing her but you guys are right. I should get prepared for more things coming up. So I'm sure she had an EA with that work guy (at least they don't see each other every time she works bc it's scheduling related who you work with, she's a nurse), but if it was a real A she must've quit it. Her scheduling doesn't really allow that she's seeing someone. When she goes out with friends I always see pictures of her and her girlfriends, she goes to sport class for an hour twice a week and the rest of the time she sits on the couch watching TV or we have family obligations. Doesn't mean that there wasnt something before. She told me he knows she is married and respect it and doesn't do anything.

She basically dropped the bomb telling me she started to have feelings for some work dude but wanted to tell me bc she wants to be truthful to me. I cried my ass off bc my world fell apart and she seemed to horribly regret when she saw me crying promising me she will try (then we tried to go out and do things but I was devastated and no wonder it didn't get better, that's half a year ago now). How much there really was I don't know. More than I know probably..at least emotionally.
But then it went downhill from there, as exactly predicted in these forums when you don't deal with it right. And now I'm afraid I've blown it already. Sandi is right. I was a very vulnerable person to her and still am. That needs to change.

I am not sure if I can dig deeper from here being far away, via text and I don't how to make her to be 100% truthful. One thing I'm finally sure off that her behavior is unacceptable for me and instead of being a man I cried and catered her. I have to stand up for myself and take charge. My tolerance is probably too high, but I think I've reached my point of no more. But what should I do?

I really appreciate you guys giving me your point of view and share your experience with me. Reading it also makes so much sense to me. Things are coming together.