I can imagine that "it's fine" could mean that the sheets don't need to be changed. It could have sounded very dismissive of her. You wrote a few posts up about being more respectful to your W. I think a simple answer like, "oh, I already changed them" would have been respectful. That's what "being the change you wish to see" could have sounded like.
It's hard in those moments, when we get flooded by emotions, but I think you do have a chance--through your actions--to change the dynamic with your W. And even if the M ends... isn't it better to model forgiveness and respect to your kids?
