I think this is so on point. I have been working on forgiving my H and it was helping me to feel better, giving me peace almost. But when he started letting S8 down, I began to grow angry and resentment began to creep in. This put a strain on how I interacted with him, because I kept thinking about all of the horrible and selfish things he had done.
One of the things I think about is that marriage is the most selfless commitment a person can make. I love being a W and even though my H has filed, I wanted to end our marriage by being a good W. To me, this means honoring the vows I took to the very end. "In good times and in bad, for better or worse, to honor and cherish..". What do they mean to you? To me, they mean putting H first no matter what. If a D is what he wants, than I have to respect that. Because that's the selfless thing to do. And being a good W is all about being selfless. If we truly love our WAS unconditionally, than we have to let them go. When I think about letting H go so he can be happy, I find some peace. I know that I'm capable of loving someone so deeply that I'd do anything for them... even let them go.
I'm not vet and my advice may be off the rocker, but I think forgiveness if the key to all of our happiness.
Me 26 ; H 26 S 8 Married less than a year Bomb 9/15/14 H moves out 9/15/14 H Files 11/21/14 Served D papers 12/31/14
