newcomer now receives mail in Hell

[LoveMyW]

Good job Bravo.. Keep it up!!..

[BigMac]

Merry Christmas. Good job hanging in there dude.

[Ile Guy]

that's Ditto for my Bravo!!!! Way to go!!!!

[bravo61]

wow thanks guys. i do feel not quite as on edge around her lately.

speaking of which she just left. i took the kids to church and then to a movie (annie-uh) but we had a great time just being together. she brought her brother by to say goodbye to the kids. she came in and immediately asked if we went to a movie so i guess she's starting to pay attention to my facebook. she also mentioned that my D plays her jewelry box every nite before bed (has our song on it-the one that i played for her to settle before bed since she was one). XW sent a text to that effect chrismas nite with a winky face. no response from me. no communication from then until today.

gave my BIL a hug and told him if he wants to do a ride along back home i can make it happen. told him he could've ridden w/me here and i had offered it to her. she said that she would like to do that here cause she would like to ride w/me (would have had to ride w/someone else back home). she mentioned that she so happy that the kids and i do fun things (made a point not to invite her right now). we made small talk about her work schedule and smiled a little back and forth. i affirmed her that she does a great job at work and i know she'll continue to do great. she likes my new couch and made herself comfortable. my D showed her her room and told her that Daddy took all the pics of mama out of his room and put them in hers.

for GAL, tomorrow i'm taking the kids to the OR coast to a aquarium. in Jan, i'm taking them on a train to Seattle to see the wharf and space needle. looking forward to it.

i also found out that a friend of hers from back home had no idea about any of this and is pissed. i made sure that i owned up to my contribution to the ending of our R and did not down XW.

i will say that so many people believe that she is going through pphase and think that she will snap out of it with time. i wish i could believe that but i cannot base my life off of that. i'm gonna continue to take care of me and continue on my journey and hhopefully she will take care of her issues and maybe someday we can reunite in the R that God intended for us to have. hope everyone is doing well.

[bravo61]

hello all in limbo/divorce land.

just got off the phone with the XW. she talked to the kids and then asked to speak to me. she asked what time i would like for her to come get the kids. i told her since she is working overnite tonight that if she wanted to wait until 2p that would be fine as i want her to get the opportunity to sleep. she said that she misses the kids and will come at noon. told her great and i'd see her then. i started to hang up and she said wait, she wanted to talk about something else. she said that donwton abbey new season starts sun and she wanted to watch it and i might want to catch up on the season (i haven't watched since season 2-w/her). i told her that i was bummed that i wouldn't be able to catch up. she said that she would love to watch it with me. i told her that i would DVR it and she could come over after the kids were in bed (here) and watch it together. i also told her that i had beer here. she said that sounds awesome and she's looking forward to it. told her to have a safe shift and i knew she would do great.

i'm mildly excited about that exchange and set plans for sun. but i'm not jumping over the moon. whatever happens, happens. it's out of my control. i'm gonna be myself at this point.

any suggestions, or am i on the right track?

on a GAL note, after running it by her (so as not to make her the bad guy if she said no-respecting her boundaries and request) she gave the ok for me to take the kids to Seattle on a 2 day trip over MLK weekend. we're gonna take a train and take in some sites and spend one nite there. the kids are loving all the adventures i'm taking them on. people have asked me about all the activities. i said that these were the things that i wanted to do as a family before i moved here. then i said, oh well, the show must go on...

hope everyone has a good day tomorrow.

[staytog]

Awesome! Looks like you are on the right track. Good for you. Gives me hope!

[bravo61]

Question for the vets.

Should I spend the time with the XW on Sun nite? I have zero expectations but I don't see us as friends. The time will be spent with me alone. She's not coming over till after the kids are asleep so it's not "family" time. She has not exhibited any warming up behaviors this week and I've maintained my distant but pleasant attitude.

Could use some other perspectives.

[bravo61]

Anyone?

[jim0987]

Hi Bravo,

my unvet opinion is why not? but its about what feels right. If you want to build a relationship with her then this may be the way, you just need to be relaxed on fun, but not pursue.

if you think it will be uncomfortable for you then i would avoid it, but having said that you've made the plan.

she is coming to see you so dont dismiss it as no warming up behaviour

[HPoirot]

Yes do it no expectations. Have fun.