Separated and Need HELP!

[Faith20]

So after not calling S8 all day on Tuesday, S8 called H and asked him where he was. H replied that he was doing Xmas with his mom and brother and would come by the house after. He asked if S8 wanted him to spend the night and S8 said yes.

H got there around 9:30 and we all hung out until about 10:45. After we put S8 to bed I walked back out to the living room and was surprised that H was there. er watched the end of a movie and then I got up to get some water. As I was standing in the kitchen H said "why is there so much sexual tension? Is it just me?" And I shyly acknowledged that I felt the same. When I went back to sit on the couch he suggested that I turn the lights off. So I did and came back to the couch. He looked at me and said "this is just sex, right?" And I replied yes.

We began to sleep together and H kept telling me how good it felt to hold someone again. He said he thinks about me all of the time. After we were finished, he got up and said again "this is just sex, right? This doesn't change anything." My heart kind of sank. I know he said it before we had sex but saying it again was overkill. Then he simply said "thanks" and walked back to the living room and sleep on the couch.
I felt super used and taken advantage of. H has never been that cold before and it killed me.

The next morning we slept together again before S8 got up. Then I went for a run and put on some PMA.

I came back, showered and made H and S8 breakfast. H said he wanted to take S8 rock climbing and said I could come if I wanted. I said I didn't want to introduce to which he said I wasn't intruding if he invited me and that we were cordial with each other so it wouldn't be a problem. (Cordial with each other? Wtf?! We just had sex last night!! I think that's a little more intimate than being cordial)

When I got in H's car he had to lift up some paperwork to make room for us and when he lifted it up I saw that he was holding the D papers. He hasn't served me yet but seeing that he had them in his car just killed me. I feel like he carries them with him so he can be ready at any time to hand them over. Ugh.

We all went climbing and had a good time. I rocked the walls and impressed H by doing 4 levels of difficulty higher than what he thought I could do. On the way home I thanked him for inviting me and said I had a blast, to which he said "well, it was the right thing to do". Ouch. Made me feel like it was a pity invite.

H left for a few hours and then came back. That's when the gift exchange happened. Afterwards I made dinner. H said he felt like a lucky guy for being included. So many mixed signals.

I know I shoukdnt have expectations but it's so hard not to. Between talking about "whether divorce is the right option", the sex, and all of H's verbal zingers, I feel like I'm spinning in circles. All of this is harder than I ever thought it would be and I find myself getting resentful for how H comes and goes and treats me.