Elsa in Piecing (knock on wood)

[gan]

I agree with HP. You continue to amaze and inspire me with your progress and how you "see" and reflect on things as they happen. The way I see it you are both nudging forward in your own way and you are both being mindful of each other's needs and wants. That's truly great!

Sleeping in the same bed - wow! That seems like a huge step. I totally get your need to be held (physical touch is one of my main LL). On the other hand, holding someone in bed is probably one of the most intimate things you can do in my book and I can see it could be a stretch when you are so early in the process.

I know you are eager to re-establish the R and are both communicating openly about your needs - which is great. Can you communicate your needs by saying this is what you will need from the R in the future but you acknowledge it may take some time to get there?

Elsa, I've been following your thread from the beginning (we're on the same timeline). I've noticed that you are often on here doubting H because his actions sometimes don't align with his words. He tells you that he wants to work on it, but then he doesn't go through with something and that disappoints you. I read this and think: Patience, Elsa! You do seem like you are a patient person and I'm not suggesting otherwise. But you got to piecing a lot faster than many of us here and so I don't think you've been forced to drop expectations in the same way many of us have. From where we sit, it sounds like your H is really trying!

I know you are tired of being patient, but I think reconciliation is within your reach if you can stay this path. You have a choice. Lie there, feel neglected and let the resentment build OR lie there, feel neglected in that moment but know that it will be ok because knowing this is a work in progress and he's finding it hard, too.

Remember - you both have training wheels on right now. You are learning and applying new skills in the hope of building a new R that meets both your needs/wants. Over time you can will be able to gradually raise the training wheels and ride for real, but it will take time to get to that point.

First time I rode without training wheels I did a few laps of the backyard then slammed straight into a clothes line and injured myself something bad. Methinks it would have been better to stay on training wheels for a bit longer.