Howdy Mustard.... one thing.... DONT GOVE UP!!! As a guy, It sounds like he may be trying but is hurt. Sounds like classic avoidance on his part (I know from experience). Guys have feelings too. You brought up a few good points... one is, you admit you are still angry. It seems you have not completely detached and he knows that. Are you possibly coming across as needy? I only say this because it goes hand in hand with what I was doing. I was always trying to stay away from W because everything was just so tense. This is what led to our S. and as guys, theres very little else we know what to do when we cant take care of our family. I would stay at work late, or just come home and bonfire and have a few beers and wait till she was asleep or gone. As a guy... I will tell you, he seems to be still hanging on for something.. (I could be totally wrong) but the parallels to his behavior and mine are eerily coincidental. the only difference is that I am realizing that I have to change first, and let her see these. This is the only way for her to change.
At Mass last night Fr. Mike (in a packed house) was talking about creating and praying for peace. It seems that he looked right at me and said "it has to start with someone, why not you". I was floored!!!! Its also weird that for the longest time I didn't need God in my life because I had total control.. HAHAHA, and getting back to church was amazing. During dismissal, Fr. Mike looked at me again, and said that a large donation has been made to the church and everyone should pick up a copy of "re-discovering Catholicism" once again I was floored!!. then I the way out Fr. Mike personally handed me a copy and gave me a wink.
If you haven't already, you need to give true and deep forgiveness to your DH. You need to start making Mustardseed better. GAL, do 180s, and get some help for you. Accept that DH is human and love him unconditionally (from afar, if need be) and work on your part.
Just let go of the anger, have true forgiveness in your heart and create peace... Im willing to bet he will take notice. It seems to be working with me and WAW
Keep up the good work and expect setbacks... after all we are all human and we WILL make mistakes. Forgive him for his and he will do the same.
Good Luck DB'ing, Merry Christmas and God Bless.. Im till keeping you in my prayers.
Together 06-04 Married 10-05 She Left 10-11-14 I filed 10-22-14
