WAW Dating - Oh noes!!..

[LoveMyW]

Xmas morning went really good today.. Went around to W's place first thing for breakfast and present opening/playing/constructing with the boys.. I showed a lot of PMA even though I was cut inside, but as they say "act as-if"!!..

I spent a good 3 hours there, and to be fair it was ALMOST like any other Xmas morning that we have had.. Laughing, joking and generally mucking around with the kids.. I got an invite to the I/L's for lunch, and we all made the trek over there for a great family get together/feed..

There was nothing even close to an R talk happening with W even though I felt like laying it all on the table (again!!).. I am finally starting to be able to fight myself and bite my tongue.. There was no awkwardness from anyone at I/L's even though it my first big step out with W since BD..

I found that great on all accounts as obviously if I can stand in a house of 15-20 of her family members, and they all still openly accept me not only do I feel better, but I am sure W would see the positive aspects, even though she would be unlikely to react.. To add, my family has the same feeling for her so IF the path home is still open, and the time comes then at least there would be no animosity there (one would think)..

The only comment that really came close to any sort of an R talk was a comment that W made prior to leaving to the I/L's.. FIL & MIL had told her that I was invited, but the final decision rested with her.. Obviously they are not wanting any coldness etc at a family xmas function.. Well she chose to say yes, and reasonably happily I must admit..

Anyway, W said to me that I was all good to come from her perspective, and it didn't sound as though it was forced or just said for the sake of saying it.. She then proceeded to say "Just don't get the wrong idea".. What is with that??.. Haha!!..

I replied with "what do you mean get the wrong idea"??.. She said "about us".. I couldn't think of the words to say quick enough, but I came out with "I have no expectations about us with what we are doing today, I just want everyone to have a great day and catch up".. Probably not the best thing, but this whole conversation lasted 20 seconds!!..

We were about half an hour early for lunch so we had a coffee with FIL, and let the kids play with some new toys.. Chat flowed freely which was good.. Communication between myself and W was good considering how many people were there (no ignorance)..

One thing I found to add to the "actions" file is the fact that I caught W 4-5 times today looking at me from across the room.. They weren't f^ck me eyes, nor was it a death stare.. They were sort of "reminiscing" eyes (even though that could be classed as mindreading).. The looks weren't just glances as when I would catch her looking at me, she turned away like a school girl!!.. There was nothing to look at in my sitting direction apart from me either!!..

Any thoughts on this behaviour??.. I know it isn't anything huge, but in my sitch, catching her looking at me mistily more than once is at least 1 to put in the "actions I notice" list..

If I had to work out a reasoning behind it for "what is working for you" then I would have to say it was the days interactions with the kids.. I doted on them (as you do).. I played monsters and aliens with a Dana White bobble head, and the racoon out of "Guardians Of The Galaxy".. Played cricket in the rain and lost the sacrificial tennis ball half covered in electrical tape!!.. Honestly, he had a he!! of a fun day!!..

I think her seeing this MIGHT have tugged at a few heart strings.. I've never been a bad father, but like nearly all of us fathers on here, when BD etc happens I have noticed that I put more time into memorable things with them now as I'm not around as much as I'd like to be..

The story may be a bit all over the place, but I'm on the verge of a food coma and I'm on 3 hours sleep!!.. Please forgive me!!..


Once again, Merry Xmas to all!!..