FOR WHAT? Because he is too immature or emotionally stunted or weak to be willing to put in ANY effort to explore or change feelings about our M? Because he has this infantile idea that feelings can't change (well, I guess he believes they can only change in a negative direction), and that people can't change, and that you either love someone or you don't?
How do I not feel betrayed and angry about that?
You do feel betrayed and angry. It's normal and natural.You have to feel it to get past it.
But you can't change any of it.
Your H's actions are/were deplorable in terms of how one treats another human being. They were/are selfish, narcissistic, and frankly doing this to you and your kids proves he's probably an a$$hole.
Now what? What's next for Claire?
You cannot dwell on this forever. You cannot sit in this place of seething anger long term, because all you're doing is stymieing YOUR life and what you deserve.
HE doesn't give two chits; he's primordial ooze when it comes to other people's wants and needs and his only focus is on himself. He's going to be in WAS la-la land while you fester and seethe and miss out on your blessings (they're numerous if you open your eyes to count them).
It's like holding a burning rock and expecting someone else to get burned. But that's not how it works. YOU get burned, YOU get hurt even more and YOU are the one affected negatively.
This crap BLOWS. It hurts so freaking badly it hurts to breathe and existing is agony.
But you can stay there or you can say "F!@#$% YOU, H" and try to grab happiness in the little things (for now) and the bigger things when you're more healed.
Happiness is within YOU, not within your H. Take your power back. Explore what makes Claire smile.
((HUG))
ME: 38 BF: 40 T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice) BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R. 10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW 12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies
